Lifestyle

Clear the fixated mindset.

So yesterday, I read an article that I would like to say ‘gave me life’ but Jesus gives me life so…Anyway, I totally agreed with the writer.It was a speech on the Dying art of disagreement by Bret Stephens. We were actually given this article for my jurisprudence class and I have never felt more alive reading something the way I did. You see, I have always disagreed. I disagree with just about everything. It gets emotional sometimes but mostly it remains factual. I’ve been called all sorts of name for always disagreeing. I’ve been segregated for always disagreeing. People even thought I did not live up to the standard of a born again christian because I always disagreed. Some take it so personally but really it’s not always about that. I actually have a feeling that someone will strongly disagree with me about this article and that’s okay. We disagree to agree.

Normally, agreeing is usually easier. Everyone is happy and smiling but no innovation comes out of it. One can never mitigate the risks that come out of agreements without alternatives. There is no room for growth, only a fixated mindset.

In the article, the dying art of disagreement by Bret Stephens, he elaborates the need for disagreement as it arises from perfect comprehension.Once you comprehend the two sides of a coin you are able to make more effective decisions. We mostly want to always agree with things we are completely uncomfortable with but rant about them later on. You might be reading this and thinking that disagreements disrupt peace but really, when you disagree with something you are expressing comprehension in an open mind. Don’t you think we would still be under colonial rule if we just kept quiet and agreed to what was being brought to our plate? We agree with the self- absorbed characteristic of our leaders and end up eating the remnants of high end delicacies like Lazarus. We agree with the chauvinistic character of some men and end up marital violence.

Maybe it is the nature if disagreements that put people off. But to be fair,not everyday will be bread and butter. The best decisions in life are made by keeping an open mind.

The truth is, unless one has considered alternatives, one has a closed mindset.(Peter F. Ducker)

So maybe disagreements are good. I may be wrong so I would like you to indulge me and disagree with my thinking. I will not take it personally. In fact, you will have cleared my vision and allowed me to see the other side of the coin.

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Lifestyle

FIVE MAJOR LESSONS I’VE LEARN’T IN 2018

I honestly do not remember the last time I blogged. Between juggling life, school and chasing dreams, lets just say life happened. However, now that we are almost ending the year, I would like to share some of the biggest lessons i have learnt in the year 2018.

1.It is okay to be vulnerable.

One of the biggest lessons I have learnt this year is to come to terms with my personality and still remain sane. I have a very tough persona. Ever met people who are like eggs. Yap, that’s me.Tough on the outside yet soft on the inside. Literally the other day my friend  said that i’m like a robot, I look like I have no emotions at all.  Till the day I found it hard to express what I feel to even my closest friends, I never knew mental toughness would really affect me. The state of exposing my emotions to the right people is actually okay.Now, I love my personality, I love my toughness and bluntness to emotions but I also came to terms with the fact that I am human, I have feelings and emotions and I can never be a structured robot. When i’m hurt, its okay to cry about it and feel bad about it, even in public. When someone offends me, it is okay to express my sadness to the person and show even in tears, that they really did hurt me and not beat myself up for crying. When I love something no matter how and what it looks like, it is okay to show it to the world, express my love for it because it is me in love with it and not the world. However, be vulnerable with the right people.

2. Allow growth to happen.

Dearest reader, at one point in your life you will need  growth, whether physical, emotional or spiritual. Sometimes growth happens in the most weirdest forms of life that we literally want to unplug and leave. Life is a journey, it takes a progressive motion and not a substantive process. Walking through 2018 has made me see how really growth is not always in the perfect loam soil. Seedlings grow into trees through thorns, through rocks, through rivers and even through sand. The strength and zeal to withstand the ‘not so perfect growing ground’ determines their outcome. Are you at a rocky season today, bloom through that rocky season. Are you in the deep waters, grow and withstand the waves and bloom. Every season in your life is certainly for a reason so just allow growth to happen. Trust the process no matter how hard it is.

3. Take risks.

Uuuurggg!! This has certainly been a crazy, rocky lessons. Up to 2017,  never knew or thought of taking any kind of risk at all. I always had the idea of following a certain direction and never getting out of my comfort zone. Probably that why I never make new friends easily. The world is changing and I realised, in a good way, that you will not just sit there, fold your hands, get a degree and another one and another one without having a difference in you. What makes you different from another person in your uniqueness and you can only find your niche by taking  a risk to find it. Try new things. Participate in a competition. Apply for awards. Go to conferences and listen. START THAT BUSINESS. START THAT INITIATIVE. NOBODY, AND I REPEAT, NOBODY WILL BRING YOU THE OPPORTUNITY UNLESS YOU GO FOR IT. Trust me on this one. I remember seeing people doing things and I kept asking myself, especially the fact that they were my friends, why they never show me such opportunities. You know what I learnt, it will never be brought to your table, go look for it and take a risk.

4. Value on the right people is always reciprocated.

Well, I wont say much about this but always remember those you value will always value you. Those you treat kindly, they mostly treat you the same way. Value may not always be reciprocated but with the right people it will.

5. To love is to die to self.

I keep reminding myself this lesson every single day just to really get a hold of it. I mean, what is love without selflessness. If I say i love you,I basically agree to kill some of my selfish interests and find a way to fit your interest. Dearest reader, is it your family that you love, is it your education that you love, is it your boyfriend or girlfriend or any friend that you love, at one point, you will have to die to self. I mean even the Lord himself had to sacrifice His son Jesus because of the love he has for us. To love, is to daily die to self.  Any relationship involves two or more people and it is not always about you.

That is all for now. I am honestly hoping to be consistent this coming year.

May all your vibes this season and the next say I got this.

Lifestyle, self love

Dear Mirror

Dear Mirror,

You look at me like you want to say something, you see what I see but i hide from what you show me.If you could talk, what would you say?Would you say I’m strange, because I think I am. Would you say I’m weird because of the countless facial expressions I’ve shown you. From  frowns to winks to grins to snarls to tears to laughter. You have seen me through countless incidents and you still sit still. I have tried a lot in front of you and yeah,maybe you have seen it all. Isn’t it weird that you just sit or stand pretty with an intention of reflecting who I am? You fascinate me. There was a season that I hated you. You were grumpy and all what you showed me is what you think I am and not what really I am. I woke up every day to get ready and when I was ready I would really try not to stumble into you because girl, you were mean.77097860-happy-smiling-little-girl-trying-new-dress-and-looking-at-mirror-vector-flat-cartoon-illustration

I know sometimes you remind me of who I am meant to be and I appreciate you for that. What I don’t like is when you try to reflect an image of what I am not. Those grumpy days when all you can do is to stand pretty and mock me. Sometimes I think it’s all in my head but sometimes it hits me so hard  that I think it’s reality. Mirror mirror on the wall, you’ve seen it all. You’ve seen my ugly days and my brighter days. With you I have learnt the art of self love. With you, I am still learning to live a life of that is not full of what you reflect about me, but what I intended to mirror to people. Not the pretty smile or the beautiful face but the kind heart and the impactful soul.I look at you and I get reminded that self love is indeed a journey, some days are sunflowers but others and stinging nettles. I know that the someday is a comeday.83335697-mujer-mirando-a-sí-misma-en-un-espejo-en-el-vestidor-mujer-probándose-un-vestido-en-el-vestidor-mujer-qu.jpg

Dear mirror, thank you for taking me through the journey of self love. I know i’m almost there and when i reach my destination, you will still sit pretty and show me who i really am.

 

Lifestyle

Be careful not to grow the ‘sunflower in disguise’

When I was a little girl I used to love looking at plants. I remember this particular time I was so enthusiastic about a plant that grew in my neighborhood and I was so sure that it was a sunflower plant. It looked exactly like the sunflower and was Infact as beautiful as the sunflower plant.

For years I was sure that I had seen and even interacted with the sunflower. However years later as I grew, I noticed a difference.

I always knew the sunflower gave sweet seeds one could feed on but the particular plant did not seem to give anything. It Infact looked like it was competing for survival among other plants. It was not as vibrant as it was before. That is when it dawned to me that that plant was not a sunflower plant. I later learnt that this was actually a weed. Yes, a weed. You can imagine the shock. I mean, how could they could they look so similar yet one is just a villain.

Now a weed is a wild plant that grows where it is not needed and Infact competes with the other plants for food, moisture and space. At first it may look like an innocent little thing but its interior motivate is actually to get the real plant out.

Dear friend, there are people or things in our lives that sometimes are sunflowers in disguise. We entertain them thinking that they are good and beneficial but they are not. There are things or people that come into our lives and they attract our eyes and we excited to have them but in real sense they have an ill motive towards us. Even the devil dresses like an Angel sometimes. These ‘weeds’ will take away your joy, your happiness, your salvation and get rid of you in good time.

Be careful. When the deal is too good, think twice.

Christianity

Shield of Faith

It is uncanny for someone to tell you to walk through fire and believe that you will come out fine and even at times better. Hebrews 11 talks of faith, the confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. The confident assurance that the Lord knows the process and He is holding us all the way is faith. Without faith, no one can see God. Here comes the hard part. When we talk of faith, it is easier said than done and I have firsthand experience in this. There are times when God has clearly instructed me to do something or to trust the process but I look at the terrain and want to turn back. Just like Peter when Jesus asked him to walk on water, he starts the journey but when he sees the wind, he freaks out and starts to sink. Peter knew that Jesus is Lord but still was of little faith. Isn’t that what we do everyday? Focusing on the wrong things! Yes you probably applied fo a job interview and there in no response yet, Jesus is saying focus on me. Maybe you are wondering how your school fees, rent ,loan or anything will be paid, Jesus says focus on me. It is going to be easy tough but this will pass. And yes, I assure you that storms will always be there. I assure you that it won’t get easy. You will probably lose people along the way but focus on Jesus.

Put on the shield of faith with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. The devil will always want to steal your faith in Christ. His only purpose is to steal,kill and destroy he does that in whatever way possible. He will fill your thoughts with every sneaky little lie and worry just to make you disbelief.

Trust that even though you will walk through fire, you will not be burnt. Even though you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, nothing will harm you. Jesus Christ wants us to have faith in Him. Faith in His promises and this faith can only be built by listening to the word of God.

Christianity

Power made perfect in our weakness.

There’s a story of a man. Sad, wounded, crushed and bitter. He has nothing. He recently lost his job. His family just left him.

There’s a story of a girl, depressed, lonely, tired and is on the verge of giving up.No friends. No family. Relationships aren’t working for her anymore.

There’s a story of a homeless mother and her two toddlers. It is the cold season and she has almost nothing to cover her children with. She looks up to the sky praying everyday to a God she barely believes in but trusts that prayers are answered. She has covered her children with an old rag worse than one covering ancient mummies but that is what she has. There’s a damsel in distress who believes that only a man can fill the void in her heart and can cover the emptiness she feels.

There are millions out there crushed, rumpled, bruised, depressed, sad, lonely, grieving and many more. Whichever category you are in I want to encourage you today. You have a father who understands whatever is weighing you down. You have a friend in Jesus Christ. And behold,He says, I will be with you till the end of time. I will hold your right hand. Fear not for I have redeemed you, I have called you by name and you are mine. Your name written on palms of His hands. And oh how He loves you.

Be strong and courageous. In that moment of weakness,His grace is sufficient. His power is made perfect in our weakness.

Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh; is anything too difficult for Me?”(Jeremiah 32:27)

Hold on. It’s going to be Ok.

Christianity

Mortal ‘gods’ of the heart

We wake up every day wanting, longing, craving for something. As human beings it is in our nature to want something to capture our affection and fill the void in our hearts. We crave for things to satisfy us and that make us believe we can create our own feelings of contentment or control our satisfaction in life. These things may be our phones, our marriages, our friends, our work life, relationships and pretty much any thing that we have put above God. These are little mortal gods that are rooted deep into our hearts and soul. We bow to them unknowingly, we worship them unknowingly and we even offer sacrifices to them unknowingly.

Relationships and marriages sometimes break not because of disagreements but because one partner was placed as a god in the relationship. One partner was expected to satisfy every need and feel every void and he/she failed not because he/she wanted to fail but because no man/woman can satisfy our desires, our wants our cravings except the Lord. You wake up to your phone every morning, scrolling down through social media, searching, looking, desiring for something. The desire and want never stops and has taken root in heart. It has made you shift from the importance of the real God to the importance of a mortal perishable ,little god in your heart. It has dug deep, steady, unshakable roots in your heart and you fail to see that. Soon the root and plant will bear fruits. Fruits of depression, loneliness, lack of self esteem, in-satisfaction, selfishness and many more. The most bitter fruits of course.

You will have a mouth but cannot speak, eyes but cannot see, ears but cannot hear. Just like Jezebel, blinded by the idols of baal. Even though she knew the Lord and  was told to repent, the baal gods had blinded her from the truth. They  made her deaf and dumb. They caused her heart to carry  bitterness, grief, sorrow, outrage and evil desires. Nothing good came out of her and she became the root of the spirit of Jezebel in churches. The church in Thyatira (Revelation 2:21) was manifested by the spirit of Jezebel. The same spirit from baal gods that caused Jezebel to kill prophets of the Lord. The same idols that caused them to cut their bodies and shout his name from a sleep, or maybe a journey that was never was.A lifeless idol that had no ears, no eyes no nothing.(1st Kings 18:27) The church in Thyratia had been given time and a chance to repent but they were unwilling. Their  hearts were rooted in idols of sexual immorality even though they knew and loved the lord. That is what idols do to our hearts. Psalms 135:15  says that those who make these idols will be just like them, perishable,blind to the truth, deaf and unwilling to listen and dumb.

Idolatry  will tell you if this makes me happy, i deserve to be happy and i will do what works for me. Idolatry will tell you, maybe being in this relationship completes me, after all two become one. Only God completes you, Him and Him only will satisfy you. Man will offer temporary fleshly fulfillment and will soon will be blown away like chaff in wind. If you are willing to compromise your beliefs for it, then it is an idol. Does it pull you farther from God? It is an idol. Just because you do not literally bow down and worship does not mean it is not an idol. Idols can be fleshed out or formed by craftiness and certain need of self centerdness.

Remember, ‘God doesn’t want to be your top God, He wants to be your only God’. (Wes Adams, Radically Christian)

 

Christianity

The Battle of the mortal and the spirit.

It was time. She walked towards her enemy head high, shoulders back and with blazing fire in her eyes. She had been preparing for this battle for a long time. This was not her first battle but was her first winning battle.The former had involved multifarious man made strategies that seemed pleasing and victorious. They were indeed sweet suggestio falsi’s which of course wounded her instead. After all, lies will always be bitter in the end,no matter how sweet you made it at the beginning. Countless had she lost and none had she won. This was her first confident battle. She remembered how carelessly she waged war over the enemy with her physical strength. She would not repeat such a mistake again.

The ambience in the battle field was tense. The trees gracefully bowed as she majestically strode towards the villain. ‘For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood,’ she thought, ‘but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.’ This was her motivation.That it is not by might, not by power but by the spirit. As she was preparing for the battle she was sure this was more dangerous than any earthly confrontation. It was a demonic cosmic power dressed in mere earthly design but carrying wickedness. Just like any soldier she had to be fully dressed and strapped with a powerful armor. She had to strategically fight this war. Wars waged carelessly are wars lost, and the only way she was to wage it powerfully is by believing that greater is the one living in her than he, the enemy, living in the world.

There she was with the belt of truth buckled around her waist. This was no ordinary belt. It bared truth that would overshadow and destroy the deceiving lies of the enemy. Simple truths that would cast the deceiver into the abyss of darkness. Then there was the breastplate of righteousness which is the righteousness purchased by her Savior at the cross. It was issued to her at salvation and is designed by God to protect her heart from evil and deception.On her limbs were shod of feet ready and zealous to spread the gospel truth. They had the fire and the energy to take the gospel all over the world and shame the enemy.On her left hand, she carried the shield of faith. With this she would extinguish the flaming arrows of deceit, depression, grief, sickness, unemployment and the likes.On her right hand she held the sword of the spirit which is sharper than any double edged sword and penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit. She would destroy the enemy with this sword which is the Word of God that became flesh and through this word all things were made and without the word nothing was made. At the mention of the Word, every knee shall bow, in heaven, on earth and under the earth. At the mention of the word the flaming arrows will bow. To crown it all, she had the helmet of salvation. This was her most priceless possession. Without the helmet she would be vulnerable that the rest of the armor would be of little use. Through salvation, she had received deliverance and was saved from the wages of sin thus assured eternal life. This was not something she merely earned but was a gift from God.

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She was fully dressed and ready but the victory was already hers.

Christianity

Feminism….Christianity???

My two friends recently asked me if I was a feminist. They had gathered from how i talk, my passion for women empowerment. I brushed off the question. Honestly, if you would have asked me about two months ago whether i am a feminist or not, I would have said I am a feminist. I however did quite some research on feminism facts and how is it upholding my christian values. Feminism is the advocacy of women’s rights on the ground of the equality of sexes. Somebody else would describe feminism as the belief that men and women should have equal rights. I totally support that. I however realized that some notions about feminism are not worth it. I read this notion that as feminists, women should not allow men to hold doors open for them. Another said that since men can go shirtless and are not questioned about modesty, women should also do the same thing.I could go on and on.These are views from different people and ideas they have placed around feminism. But what does the scripture say about this?

Scripture presents human kind as totally dependent on God and not on self. God’s design for humans is not a patriarchal society and neither is it a feminist society. The competition on who is the best in the society is never worth it. Fact is, we, men and women are different, even physically. The idea that women should be independent is okay. The idea that women should be in leadership is very much okay. No one should be denied a chance or opportunity because of their gender. No one should be despised because of their gender. What’s not okay is the idea that women should be the aggressive and angry people in the society simply because a man is higher.I believe women cannot find liberation in trying to be superior than men, they can find liberation in building themselves,fighting for what is right and becoming better persons.I love to see women in leadership and I feel so proud of that. I love to see women in business and it makes me so happy. Most of the moguls I look up to are women. What made these people be up there is not rage, anger and bitterness towards men but hunger and zeal to be better persons even in a patriarchal society. Should we fight for equality? Of course yes!But as we desire this equality, let as look at God’s design for human beings.Don’t be a bitter, angry woman who looks at the male gender and only sees competition. We are women for a reason and we are men for a reason. Fact is, there are thousands of men and people who feel women are already empowered and the conversation is too much. Fact is also there are thousands,like me, who feel we are not there yet.

All in all, Galatians 3:28 the scripture says …nor is there female and male, for you are all equal in Christ. God created man to be equally valuable and purposely different. If we value the God created both man and woman in their own image then it is only right to value both of them equally. No one higher that the other so no more competition. Only God is supreme and only Him knows why He defined womanhood as it is and manhood as it is.

What are your thoughts on feminism?